Thursday, October 24, 2013

10 Rules I Never Thought of Before I Had Kids

A lot of times when my kids do naughty things it's just because they really don't know any better. They're pretty young after all. I often find myself explaining that what they are doing is not okay, and I have had to come up with some pretty crazy new rules. Here's a sampling:

1. We do not chew on our toenails.
2. We do not eat diaper cream.
3. We do not eat old jelly beans out of the trash.
4. We do not recycle our good kitchen utensils and removable hard drives.
5. We do not throw rocks, garbage, toys, binkies, etc. in the swimming pool.
6. We do not take the goldfish out of their tank to play with them.
7. We do not take off our pants and pee in the front yard.
8. We do not jump on Grandma's expensive electric adjustable bed (oh no, too late!).
9. Especially when Grandma is holding a cup of hot tea, we don't whack her with stuffed animals (poor Grandma).
10. We do not call our preschool teacher a bad word!

What are some crazy-sounding house rules have you had to come up with for your kids?